**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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