I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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