i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
