She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
