i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
