If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
