This is not my ceiling
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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