Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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