I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
