How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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