Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
