not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
