Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
