Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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