You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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