apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
