these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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