You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
