Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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