i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
