u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
