we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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