Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
