did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize