I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
