I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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