About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
