atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
