i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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