suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
