oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
