idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
