and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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