lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
