her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
