dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
