yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm at about main and main street
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
