Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
