brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
