I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
