oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
