The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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