so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
