I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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