How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
50% drunk capacity currently
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
