Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
