he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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