If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Randomize