Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
