Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
