I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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