But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
