Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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