4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
