He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
