doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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