I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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