If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
