the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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