Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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