how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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